Primal AF

Jimmy Nap Why is that Important and connections!

• Jimmy Napolitano

Share episode

Welcome to another episode of Primal AF! In this episode, we're diving deep into the fascinating world of human interaction, emotions, and self-discovery.

Our conversation starts with a simple realization: how often do we find ourselves trapped in our "logic brain"? You know, that feeling when you're speaking logically, everything seems correct, and yet, something doesn't quite click. It's as if your words aren't landing because they're not coming from an emotional place.

We explore the concept of connecting with people on an emotional level right from the beginning, especially when you're meeting someone new. 

We go  on a journey to uncover the power of asking the ultimate question: "Why is that important?" You'll witness a fascinating exercise where a logical answer transforms into an emotional one through a series of inquiries.

But the magic isn't just in the questions; it's in the story behind every individual. Discover how to build rapport, create familiarity, and connect with others by understanding their unique stories.

We discuss the importance of self-talk and how our perception of our goals can affect our journey. Is it more about meeting the goal, or is it about the values and emotions associated with it?

And, in a surprising twist, we explore the world of training, whether it's for life or physical fitness, and how the balance between pushing hard and allowing time for recovery relates to our personal growth.

As we near the end of our podcast, you'll find moments of vulnerability and self-discovery that touch the heart. It's about overcoming adversity, finding hope, and ultimately, helping others on their own journey.

Join us for an episode that delves into the human experience, connections, emotions, and the power of asking the right questions. Thank you for being a part of this insightful conversation.

@PrimalAFPodcast

Yo, welcome to another episode of Primal AF. You are in for a little bit of a treat because you're going to get the tactical side I got my boy Nicholas on and we have a pretty cool conversation. We just kind of hop right into it. It starts with a simple conversation of how do you go from a logic based person to, to get them thinking more emotionally. So we explore the concept of connecting with people on an emotional level right from the jump, when you're meeting someone new, and it's very helpful for that interaction. We also uncover the power of asking really good questions, when we're getting to our goals and finding out why and what drives us. Just finding out really, I'm going to quote this, what's important. Uh, you'll witness a fascinating exercise where the logical answer actually transformed to something emotional and hopefully it's something that impacts you and something you could take home. But the magic isn't really just in the questions, it's in the story behind Every person we talk to. And really when we're creating or building rapport, familiarity and connecting with others, understanding their story, we, we discuss also the importance of self talk and how, how helpful or detrimental it is, especially on our perception of our goals and how it affects our journey, it's less about meeting the goal and more about the values and the emotions associated with what we're doing. We also surprisingly get into the world of training and. life, physical fitness, the balance in between pushing hard and, recovery time for some reason that always jumps in. But as we near the end of the podcast, you'll, you'll see a couple of moments of, self discovery and overcome adversity, finding hope. And hopefully this helps you on your own journey. Hopefully this helps you on your own journey. So Thank you. You know, buckle up, give us a couple likes, and uh, tell me if this was helpful. I appreciate you guys listening. I appreciate all the DMs, but this is uh, this is a pretty cool one.

Nicholas:

so we'll hop right into it. Yeah, please. So I get stuck kind of in my logic lizard brain. When someone's just like at the very beginning I can just tell, it's like, I'm just speaking logically, and I'm not, and everything that I'm saying is correct, and true, and should make sense, but it's not, it's not clearing the landing, just cause it's.. Not coming from a logical place. They're coming from an emotional place. So specifically when you're dealing with someone who within the first few moments of meeting you, what are you looking for? I'm

Jimmy:

Okay All right. So, all right. I'm pretty clear now. I'm going to show you something and practice hopefully I, I showed you something, I'm gonna ask you seven questions. So, um, what's your volume goal for.

adam\:

November. 250, 000.

Jimmy:

This is going to get more difficult and more difficult every time I ask it, but why is that important?

So, here's the deal. Every time you answer your question, you just ask, Why is that important? So, it might be the number. Why is that important? Because of this. Why is that important? So do that seven times, and this is what we're gonna come up to. Is the seventh question. That is really what we're after.

Jimmy:

Why is that important?

adam\:

Bring value to my life and something that I can add value to someone else's life.

Jimmy:

So, in this practice, very good by the way, awesome. one, you went from a very logical answer. It's No emotion behind it. How did we get to value and happiness, which are emotions?

adam\:

I mean, you were only asking one question.

Jimmy:

So this practice it's, it gets deep, why that goal is important to you. So when we started talking about like, you know, this is your why, this is your why. It's not about the money, it's about building assets. It's about value and happiness. It's about freedom. But you are very correct. The way to get past the logical is to ask questions. On the importance, but I mean, don't keep it, don't, don't go directly to why is that important? It's almost like disarming, right? Yeah. Everybody has a story to tell, you just gotta find out what's theirs and what made them get to where they're at now.

adam\:

What are some helpful questions to ask in that scenario where you are building that rapport, building that familiarity. It's not there yet, and they've come up with like, price is what's important, you don't do this. Not doing business. You can leave right now.

Jimmy:

So they're throwing a lot at you then,

adam\:

That's called awareness,

Jimmy:

Nobody's gonna say the perfect thing at the perfect time, you know, it's the combination of everything that you do. It's like one thing. But, I mean, to your point, and to your credit, You staying in the house was your superpower

adam\:

got some wine at 10am in the morning? What is that?

Jimmy:

It's, uh, Cabernet. It's coffee. It's, I have a French press.

adam\:

Oh, you just drink it in them fancy wine glasses.

Jimmy:

It's like, yeah, it's just like organic coffee, MCT oil and collagen.

adam\:

Okay. How do you feel about athletic greens?

Jimmy:

No, it's, dude, it's just like, it's like everything else, man. Like, I, I'm 80 20, right? 80 percent of the time, I am pretty much on par with nutrition. 20 percent of the time, dude, it's pizza, donuts, ice cream, candy.

adam\:

Yeah, the human experience.

Jimmy:

You gotta be happy. Yeah,

adam\:

cool. So thank you for that Probably the biggest thing that the two biggest things that I gained from that conversation was how are you able to help customers if you have not helped yourself? and helping myself, like I've noticed just how much negative self talk I've given myself the past couple of months, So thank you for saying that to me in a way that like. to me.

Jimmy:

You're giving me too much credit. I think you just heard what you needed to hear.

adam\:

I mean you did exactly what you've been coaching me on. You heard what you did hear what I said and you were able to provide a response. That then helped me come to that solution for myself.

Jimmy:

All. I don't know if I've ever told you to do anything I think you have taken your own initiative, right? If, you had a way to, like, go back, you would find that all I really did is ask you questions. Yeah. And then you give me the answer, and then you're like, Aha! You got it, Jimmy! And I'm like, whatever, dog, I just asked the questions. I might tell a story, but, you already have the answers. You just need to hear them. It's your journey. Mm hmm. I'm the strategist, you're the general. Yeah. See how that came about full circle? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I smell what you're stepping in. So like, I can't make the decisions for you, right?

adam\:

What is the consistent track to, to put a goal and convince yourself that that's the goal? How do you maintain your goals throughout perceived obstacles, or is that just something that's exclusive to every person?

Jimmy:

I think, I think what we're trying to figure out is how do we not beat ourselves up like after challenges or obstacles? Yeah. So, when we set a goal, right, what is our expectation of that goal, right? Did we set a goal that is, I'm just going to use very dramatic numbers. Did we set a goal that's 600, 000, right? And if I don't meet that expectation, then it's a bad time right? There's only, there's a gap between what is actually happened and what is our expectation. Our expectation is just What we perceive to be as right in the world, our perception, not what actually is happening. Right? So there's the gap there, right? So to get rid of that gap, we need to figure out what can I do that is enough, enough to be happy enough to, get me wrong. It's not like sitting on your ass. Right, but, alright, so if you get a puppy, right, what's the proper amount of attention to give them? Right? Because if you go too much, then you're smothering him and he dies. Right? So it's like, you might be, you know, playing with him outside for an hour. Right? And then just letting him chill and then eat the rest of the day. I don't know. Right? You do the minimum that makes that dog happy. Or eating. Right? You, you eat till you're satiated. You don't eat. Everything in the buffet because it's so you eat to where you're happy, right? So same thing we have to ask two questions One what can we do that is enough? So what does that mean? I don't know This is this is a personal thing. So I don't I don't have the answer for you but you need to be happy, right? So set minimum standards. So hit that consistently, it's a good time, right? You might be aiming for In November. So, if we did the minimum, 137, So if we hit that, we're not like, jumping off the walls or anything. But, you're happy, right? That's the minimum. You're happy. Everybody's kind of like, it's just like still water, right? Now we ask the second question. What will get us excited The things that get you excited are the things that you listed out the things that you get You a down payment for a house the things that put you in a good position in your personal life It gets you freedom. It gets you happiness um It it gives you value Right. A lot of it is confidence in the self and trust in the self. Dude, I've gone two weeks on, you know, a couple, you know, a couple DNS's, a couple finance turndowns, a couple cancels. That's not me. The real me is gonna show up this next week and I'll probably bang out 150 just in this week. That's who I am. I'll put it to you in my language and maybe it'll resonate more. Right. So. I just had a meeting with my trainer this morning, and he was like, You might need more rest. I'm trying to ramp up my efficiency and he's telling me I need more rest. Like who is going to be more efficient if you look at a year the guy that goes balls out 100 percent 10 times in a year or the guy that does consistently and smooth an hour It's really really chill and really easy You know, once every other day, who's going to get more training, right? It's every other day, right? So there's two ways to go about training. One is not correct, but one of them is, you know, every day from now until the race day, I go as hard as I can, as fast as I can. What's going to happen on day two is my energy level is going to start going down and so is recovery and it's going to go down. It's going to go down. It's just going to be a chore. It's not happy, right? The other way is doing the least amount of training possible for the maximum amount of energy or of efficiency. So for me, that means taking three days off a week. Not doing shit while moving around, but like not doing shit. Like I'll train three days. That's all I need the rest of the days. I'm chilling. I'm recovering, not doing anything. What does that mean? That means I have more energy going into the second training. Second day I train, right? I'm excited about it. It doesn't seem like a chore. I got energy. My legs feel good. I'm not burnt out, but that's, that's the same exact thing as, as what we're talking about now.

adam\:

What are you training for life?

Jimmy:

I mean, I'm just flexing, right? Um, when I do my seven levels, the reason I train is so I could be 75 years old and be lethal, dangerous. I want to be, you know, fit, look good, have a good quality of life for the longest amount of time possible. Yeah.

adam\:

Kind of be vulnerable. You're being

Jimmy:

vulnerable right

adam\:

now. Yeah, it's uncomfortable

Jimmy:

Uncomfortable for me. I just started doing this like Maybe because I mean, I'll tell you the truth when I first started you only knew and saw the best parts of me. Like, you're not gonna see any faults. So, you might think I'm up here, but there's no connection there. I live off of connection. That is like one of my core values. But once you start seeing, like, the real parts of me, like, Hey, Jimmy's eating a fucking jelly donut, right? Like, oh, like, you know, it's more real. I don't know. My house is a mess and, you know, all this other shit, um, then it's a little bit more real. Like, Timmy's been on a pit before, right? But I also use that shit to my advantage because I know how to get out of it. Yeah, Be careful not to focus on the goal. It's on the values of the goal. It's going to be more about. The empathy, the vulnerability, the questions. Yeah. Coming out, like whatever values are important in that. And I was just throwing those out there. I don't know what the values are for you. I'll just throw those out there, but it's going to be more about that than it is. The goal will come when you do the things that lead up to the goal. I can't just plan next year and say, I want to make 6 billion. This, I mean, if I'm just sitting here and it's not going to happen, I have to do things and buy things and my value, I have to get me 6 million.

adam\:

What are the 6 million people doing that I can do?

Jimmy:

And I better not be talking to people that are making 60, 000 a year or 100, 000 a year. Yeah,

adam\:

what's the value that you put on, like staying with this job versus going with another job or going with a job that, you know, you're here. So there's a value. Do you mind me asking you what that value is for you? You

Jimmy:

remember what I said before? What was, what was really important to me?

adam\:

Quality of life and the connection,

Jimmy:

connection, and an underlying theme with anything that I do is. It's always going to be a story of overcoming adversity. And I feel like I am a model fucking citizen of that. Like, I have been probably in the deepest and shittiest spots out of anybody I know. And I have dug myself out. And I've climbed up higher than most people. And, I know people that are maybe not in as bad of a situation that I was in, but I've already built the stairs out of the fucking shithole. And I'm building the stairs up the mountain. So I know how to do it, now I can just help people come up. And what that looks like I know the feeling. I know the feeling. It's almost like a pit in your stomach. And not knowing what if. Right? But I've also built the stairs to get the fuck out of there. Yeah. It's possible. Right? And that's all people need. Is hope. Hope is one of the strongest powers ever. Show me there's a fucking way and then we'll do it. And then here are the steps and here are the tools. There you go.

adam\:

This is about you,

Jimmy:

brother.

adam\:

Well, um, it's been great, Jimmy. Thanks for all your help

People on this episode

Head Shot

Jimmy Napolitano

Host