Fear of Success with Jimmy Napolitano

In this episode of Primal AF we tackle the fear of success and self-sabotage, exploring why we often set small goals and stay in our comfort zones when we're capable of achieving more.

Segment 1: Primal Instincts and Comfort Zones

• We discuss how our primal instincts keep us safe but can also hinder our growth.
• Exploring the concept of homeostasis in our mindset, seeking equilibrium between success and failure.

Segment 2: Fear of Success and Self-Sabotage

• How our biology may resist high levels of success.
• Comparing self-sabotage to a teenage superhero discovering their powers.
• Personal anecdotes about the destructive cycle of self-sabotage.

Segment 3: Limiting vs. Unrealistic Goals

• Differentiating between goals that limit potential and those too grandiose.
• Emphasizing realistic goal-setting and the need for a well-thought-out plan.
• Discussing the concept of "achievement addiction."

Segment 4: The 'Yeah, But' Syndrome

• Exploring common excuses like "I would have" or "I could have."
• Discussing how these excuses hinder progress.

Segment 5: Strategies for Overcoming Fear of Success and Self-Sabotage

• The importance of awareness as the first step toward change.
• The power of journaling for identifying patterns and root causes of self-sabotage.

Segment 6: Challenging Belief Systems

• The significance of challenging belief systems, especially during self-sabotage.
• Examples of how changing actions can lead to transformation.

Segment 7: Setting Clear Goals and Visualization

• Highlighting the importance of clear and achievable goals.
• Discussing visualization techniques for celebrating progress.

Segment 8: Celebrating Progress and Gratitude

• Emphasizing the importance of celebrating small victories and expressing gratitude.

Thanks for tuning in to this episode of Primal AF.  Overcoming the fear of success and self-sabotage is a journey, and we hope these insights and strategies will help you along the way. Remember, awareness and action are the keys to unlocking your full potential. Don't be afraid to set big goals and celebrate your victories along the path to success.

Hit me up @primalafpodcast on IG for PRIMALAF Gear.  Also my boy @Jakeaclark1223 with the bad ass intro and outro!!!

Transcript

0:03

Welcome back to another episode of Prime Af. It's your boy, Jimmy Knapp. Hey, I'm here. Just coming off of a good weekend before we get started, d m e get one of these hats. They're not that expensive. They get to eat about seven to 10 business days, dude. It's legit. And they're high quality stuff but anyway, um, topic today is really the fear of success. Feel of failure is pretty easy. That's a, that's an easy topic. To even talk about or, or master get over. I think there's easy goals there. One of the, one of the topics that I didn't, didn't know that much about was the fear of success. And it's coming, it's coming off of. Just watching a great, great sports weekend. Both my boys kind of slayed it, uh, both in soccer and obstacle course racing. We just came back from DC. My boy Mooch scored another goal this week and my boy B. I kind of just sent it, you know, on the obstacle course. The cool thing about both of them is the, is almost the lack of fear. They just send it and everything they do, especially Brody. And he's, he's just turning eight. He's it'll be eight next week, but watching him. I've learned a lot from both of them, watching him run what seems to be a difficult obstacle race. He's smiling the whole time, and he's having fun. He's telling me that he's good, I'm out there to pace him, he's like, hey, I'm good, I'm gonna do this. He just has fun doing it. So there's, there's no, there's it's 100 percent happiness with him. And it's 100 percent just all good times. But when we get older, what the fuck happens all of a sudden we set goals that are not big enough. And we fear getting out of our comfort zone. We try and build this nice, cush life. And we, we don't move forward anymore. Um, it's part of our primal's body and brain to keep us safe. And keep us out of danger. Because, I mean, if, put it this way, if your pH in your body gets too high, guess what? You die. Or if it gets too low, you die. Or if your body gets too hot, temperature wise, you die. If it gets too low, you die. So it's always, it's always looking for that, is homeostasicity a word? Homeostasis? Homeostasis. We'll just go with that. We're always looking for homeostasis, or just nice, nice and even, um, even, even with our mindset. If. If we get too, if we get too high, we're manic, right? Or if we get too low, we're depressed. So, biologically, I think we're designed to just resist the high end of success. It's almost like, it's almost like we're, the fear isn't. Of us having the ability, it's being scared of our ability to do that. You ever see one of those cartoons or one of those TV shows where the teenage superhero just found out about his strength and is scared. And all of a sudden, he has to learn or she has to learn how to, how to use it for good, probably the same thing. Um, but where it shows up for us is almost like self sabotage. I remember when I was, uh, when I was first getting into nutrition and I just joined Primal. I would have peaks and valleys and I was just getting used to, to what the food and nutrition was doing with my body. And I would have, I would have weigh ins on Mondays and some days, like on a Wednesday, I would, you know, eat a Cup of ice cream or something, but it wasn't just the cup of ice cream because I thought I ruined my success Instead of having a cup. I was like, well, I had this much and I messed it up Might as well have this bag of Doritos and this sleeve of Oreos not just three like the sleeve I'm not talking about in a sleeve of six. Yeah, that's cute No, like the 16 sleeve like the family sleeve shit still good. My mouth started worrying Uh, watering, but, but it didn't, what, once you go through those peaks and valleys, you know, that your body feels like shit and if you just stuck with a cup of ice cream, dude, you'll be all right. It's not like it's going to ruin you, especially once you've been doing this stuff for a while. So it's also putting yourself in the right position there, It's also playing safe. For instance, one of the first obstacle races that I started doing, my goal was to finish. I'm like, what the fuck kind of goal is that, just to finish? And I would make that be a success. Once we start moving forward and we find out what our abilities actually could do, then we could start setting our sights a little higher. And by a little, I mean a lot, because if we, if we put a lid on ourselves, that's the only thing that we have the ability to accomplish. And there's, uh, there's also, there's also, you can go the exact opposite way. And this is still like the fear of failure, right? You go the exact opposite way. And I could say, Hey, I am going to get first place in every race that I run with my skill and my ability. That is a very, very not impossible, but a large, a large and almost. and seemingly improbable task to accomplish. There would be a lot of goal setting, a lot more time allotted to that specific skill if I wanted that to become a reality. Not saying that I can't, I'm just saying that probably not realistic. There are also concepts like the achievement addiction. So you're just chasing, you're chasing goals that maybe are somebody else's that are really big. Maybe they have a grand scheme or a grand plan and you think it's a good idea, but you're just looking for recognition or maybe just have really big goals and not a well thought out, thought out plan to get there. And one of the final ones is that, yeah, but. person or that yeah but voice in your head or I woulda or I coulda or I shoulda. You know, I think everybody's heard of that guy before. Hey I would have, I would have won that race but this thing got my way. I would have lost five pounds but you know I was stressed and I needed to eat a bag of Doritos. Um, these are all things that, that I think we just need to be aware of. Especially on how we're talking to ourselves and the key is, how do we overcome something like this? It's not like you can hustle and grind it. The biggest thing is awareness. How do we be aware of something like this? Yeah, this is like one of the first steps. It's just, I mean, just like I guess any step program, it's just awareness and, and really saying, when I get close to a goal, what's the pattern? Is there a self sabotage pattern? Or is there a, an avoidance pattern? It's something that's, that's helping me make an excuse for not getting to where. And then we just really, after that identified the cause, like, why am I feeling this way? You know, what a good, good way to do it. And this is something that is a building strength for me is just journaling, journaling. Why do I feel this way? Why I like ice cream. So I use ice cream a lot for, for in cheesecake. Oh God. But why, when I have. One, one, you know, big scoop of, of cheesecake, do I have to eat the other, you know, another three slices? How do I be aware enough in that situation to not go down that path? Um, another step is really just It's challenging the belief system I have around what I'm doing, especially in that specific situation. My belief system is, oh, since I messed up a little bit, then a lot a bit more isn't going to do that much difference. Or just because, you know, I went off the, went off the game plan for, for my business. Does it mean I just throw the whole month away? I had one bad weekend or one bad week. Does it mean it's going to be a bad month? 80 20 rule, right? Just focus on the 20%. That's good. That's going to get you where you're at. And a lot of this is with, with your limiting beliefs is, is really changing your actions. possibly. A lot of it's going to come from how you talk to yourself. What is the commercial or the highlight reel that you're playing in your head about that certain situation? But just like everything else, I mean, the next step is really setting very, very clear goals. Once you have set and clear goals, you know the direction that you were going to be heading in. And then with awareness, You know exactly if you're going off the plan or you're staying on the plan. So it's okay if you go off a little bit. You know where the, you know where the path is, so you know where to jump back on. And it doesn't have to be a total redirection that you don't have to do a 90 degree turn. Merge back in. But once you start visualizing the success there, start celebrating that. Start celebrating where you came from. To get to where you are a lot of times we lose sight of that we lose sight of where our growth started from and we're so infatuated with the next success or the next big mountain, we don't realize that we're already 13, 000 feet above sea level. And we're trying to climb another thousand. All we see is that thousand. We didn't, we, we're not looking backwards and saying, Hey, look at all of this that I accomplished with gratitude and thankfulness and mindfulness. But also, you know, find some people around you. Find some people around you that maybe have done what you are doing and maybe have some advice. You don't have to be the smartest person in the room. Um, after that, motherfucker, just take action. I mean, these were probably a couple steps, but these are all things I don't, I don't make any, make up anything. These are all things that I've taken notes from and, and I talk to people and I have really good people around me. So it is what it is homies, but that's all I got for this episode. Next, we got some, we got some bomb people coming up, uh, the usually the usual 40, 45 minute podcast. So you guys have a great week and I'll haunt you guys at the flip side. Peace.