Primal AF
Welcome to the Primal AF Podcast with your host, Jimmy Napolitano, where we explore the journey of self-discovery, personal growth, and transformation in pursuit of a balanced and fulfilling life. Join Jimmy and his guests as they share powerful and raw personal stories of breaking free from non-serving habits, overcoming adversity, and evolving into stronger, better versions of themselves.
This podcast is for those seeking inspiration and guidance in their own personal development journey, especially men looking to overcome their struggles and discover the greatness within themselves. If you're ready to ignite your own transformation and embrace a life of fulfillment, purpose, and authenticity, tune in to the Primal AF Podcast.
Primal AF
Kenneth Donaghy on a Hero's Journey
Another episode of PrimalAF. My boy "KenDo" Kenneth Donaghy, on the West coast. I met him through a retreat. Dude's quiet at first and. He's very methodical. Once he starts talking, people listen. In here you'll hear about a Definition of PRIMAL AF, How to overcome stigmas of mistakes, and digging up what truly matters to roll forward.
Give us five stars and Hit us up at PRIMALAFPODCASTS@gmail.com for questions and comments!
Find Kenneth on IG
kenneth.donaghy
Hats by Mibombons on IG
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www,mibombons.com
Yo, what's happening? It's boy, Jimmy Nap, another episode of Prime af. Today's gonna be a good one before we get started. These hats, they're selling. They're 40 bucks. They're custom, they get shipped out to you. Lemme know if you want one prime af, but today I get to talk to my, my boy Kendo he lives over on the West coast. I met him through a retreat. Dude's quiet at first and. He's very methodical. Once he starts talking, people listen. And it's a really, really cool and deep, deep conversation that you have with him. But stay tuned. He's coming up now. Hope you enjoy again. Share, share this with people. Give us five stars and let know what you think. Kendo, right?
KenDo:What's
Jimmy:up my man? You're wearing the um, black t-shirt outfit that I usually wear.
KenDo:Oh, you usually wear a black outfit? This man I
Jimmy:wear, yeah. Oh, okay. It looks black. I wear a black t-shirt everywhere. Like I wear it out to restaurants or anything out to do in public. It just makes the choices easier.
KenDo:Dude, look at that hat,
Jimmy:bro. I know. My cys makes them. They're like custom. Fitted. Yeah, she could do fitted, but like the, she even has the logos. You can't see it really much on the, on the, uh, on the screen. But like the emblem there is is stitched in there too. She does a really good job. I don't know how she does it, but Welcome man. We're finally doing the damn thing.
KenDo:Yeah, we've talked about it a little bit, huh? What's about
Jimmy:time I. Well, it's good because you don't get to,
KenDo:it's the perfect time. It's the perfect time. Is it How you feeling? Feeling pretty good. Just work. I wanted to make sure I got my workout in, did my walk, get, get the brain functioning, uh, so I could be prepared so we could make it a, um, a good one. You know? I feel
Jimmy:you. Like that's, that's interesting that you're throwing that in there is the getting the blood flowing. What'd you do for your workout?
KenDo:Um, Ryan Kennedy has me on this program. So he, we started this week to do these, like, what do they call them? Little circuits or something like that. Okay. Or, so, uh, today was a pool day, and so I did, you know, did some, um, dead lifts with some pushups. Um, what else did I do? Some pull downs. Um, some crunchers. Um, some reverse flies.
Jimmy:Man, that's a pretty intense workout.
KenDo:It's supposed to take 30 minutes. So when he first got me on the program, he just gave me like a 15 minute workout. Mm-hmm. And then now it's like, and that was like six days a week, and now it's four days a week with, um, you know, a 30 minute work workout. And then I go for my, you know, my daily walks and Oh, good. And just get the, the mind working for, for whatever it is.
Jimmy:That's perfect. I, uh, you, you'll be proud of me. I, I, uh, went to this place and instead of doing the, the old school, like four man's cold plunge and just putting like ice in a garbage can, I went down to this place called transition and I did, uh, I did very similar to what you do, so I jumped at the cold plunge tub and I did, I did four minutes there and then 11 minutes in the sauna. So I just
KenDo:did three rounds. You did the plunge first. Okay. I've been doing the sauna first. Oh really? Yeah. Getting the sweat. So just getting as much sweat out, you know, because after the plunge you go in the sauna, you're not gonna get that as you're not, it's gonna take a while for you to start sweating,
Jimmy:you know? Okay. Yeah, I figured, I was like, which one of these is gonna suck the most? Jumping in the cold water. I'll do that first.
KenDo:Yeah. That's the one that gets you the buzz for sure. That's, that's the one that gets you that healthy buzz.
Jimmy:Dude, it's crazy'cause like, you know, once you get, once you get like, you know, everything in, you know, it sucks, but like, there's a big rush when you put your head under like, yo,
KenDo:so I, so I started doing my head under when I start and when I end now. Yeah. And that, I just started doing that this week, like, And I've been taking people with me like almost every day this week I've took someone new with me. That's pretty cool. And just kind of see where, you know, I learned a lot through that, but they always freak out that I'm just like, right away, I'm in there and I'm dunking. You know, it's like
Jimmy:it's a bad man.'cause like you start dipping your like little toes in, you're like, ah, it's gold.
KenDo:Some people do. Some people do. One of the realizations I had this week with the cold plunge, and it kind of goes into, you know, your brand and what you do is, as the first time I did my cold plunge, it was, I did five minutes, you know, I did it on my birthday this year. You know, the guy was like, okay, just, you know, you know, we recommend you just trying to do a minute. At first, I was like, nah, man. The people on YouTube, They do three minutes that, like, that's what it is, right? So, so I'm like, I'm doing three minutes. I hired him to coach me with my breathing part of it, because I think it's really comes down to breathing and like, I almost found out that like, this is just as much of a breathing exercise and a mindfulness exercise than it is like a physical, um, I don't know, you might want to call it torture or physical experience, you know, whatever you wanna call it. Um, and so what he did was like, he, he videoed. I said video, the whole thing. When it got to three minutes, he was like, okay, you got one more minute left. And he didn't tell me what the time was. He was just paying attention to it. He is like, alright man, you've been in here for four minutes. And I was just like, all right, one more minute. Then I'm dunking my head, you know? Yeah. Oh, and then, so I did the first time I did five minutes. So I haven't even thought about doing anything. Thinking like, and as I, I've been bringing guests with me to this place. You know, I'm on day 11th and I probably brought in a guest, I dunno, five, six of those times. Okay. And I'm realizing what people are doing. Like when they get in there, they're, they're in and out. Like they can't last a minute. And I'm just like realizing like, why, why am I the only one that I know that's doing this five minutes? You know, and doing it like that's how it's supposed to be done. Mm-hmm. Right. And, and it really taught me a lot about. Like, oh, I have, it's the mindset, right? We, we push ourselves to the ability to, when we have a, a mindset that we can do something and we want to do something, we just do it and it becomes like our, our nature. And we look for these things like you do those obstacle races and you're like, I want to push myself to say I could do this. Mm-hmm. And it's, it's giving yourself evidence. You can do whatever you set your mind to, right? Whatever you want to kind of accomplish your goals. And then to me it's like, well, where else can I apply that in life? You know, like, oh, I wanted to run a half marathon. I did it in eight weeks. Going from zero to nothing, right? Like, and we keep on giving ourselves those examples of things, challenges that we know we can overcome that push our limits, but also like, Give us the examples that we can achieve whatever we want in life because we just did a coal punch for five minutes, for 11 days in a row, or we climbed the biggest mountain in, you know, the lower 48 states, or we did an obstacle race and reached the podium, you know, whatever it is. We're giving those examples, so then it becomes like, oh, being a father is hard, dude, I, I totally at an obstacle raise this is, I could do this too. Dude,
Jimmy:you fucking speaking my language, son.
KenDo:That's your podcast,
Jimmy:man. You got me right in my feels. I'm like, damn, this motherfucker spitting. No, that's, that's, um, that's great. Yeah. But it, I mean, it's, it's really, it's not about me. Because like the point is there are different points of view and there's different aspects of life's life that that people come from. And the cool thing for me is I get to talk with a lot of people and learn just different things. Like one, one thing that I resonate with all of these people is like at some point to a different extent or a different degree, we've all been in some shit and we've pulled ourselves out. So I like to hear, how the fuck did you do it? Right? This is like, people know how I, how I did mine and I'm still, you know, still, I, I wouldn't say I'm pulling myself out of a hole. Now. I'm, I'm climbing a ladder and I'm just climbing up a mountain. Um, but what about, what about you? I think people want to know what's your history, um, early life experiences that kind of led you to, to where you are today?
KenDo:Yeah, I noticed that you, um, attract and you interview people who have overcome adversity mm-hmm. To, and, and, and conquer that moment in time and, and where they, and now where they're at and where they're going. Right, right. And I kind of like, before I, you know, jumped on here with you, I like, I was like, how do you look up the definition of primal? What is primal? Right? I don't know. You've probably looked up the definition. I Googled it relating to an early stage in evolutionary development, right? Like the early stage of, of, maybe we could call it personal development for your brand, right? Like, and so that, that, that, that moment in our, in our journey. We were just like stripped of everything and we're now in this new primal state. Mm-hmm. And I know what the kids call af, but I want to twist it. Right. Okay. I wanna twist it to the definition that resonates with me. I know it's gonna resonate with you. We, instead of af what the kids are calling it, It's an awesome future, right? So where have we came from? This primal state of just wanting to survive the beginning of our evolutionary or our personal development journey to choose an awesome future, right? And so how's that kind of relate to me? What was like those primal moments of like survival? Um, you know, I, I come from. You know, the first, uh, child of three born to teenage parents, right. Who were just working class surviving. Um, did the best they could, but since they were teenagers and, and they were probably, you know, you know, just working class is survival mode, you know, and by the time. I got into my adolescence and beyond the age of 17, I was just like, you can't relate to me. Me being the, the, um, I don't know, maybe the selfish kid, the selfish adolescent that didn't wanted to rebel against parents telling them what to do. I was like, you can't relate to me. I'm, I'm a 17 year old. 18 year old, 19 year old that doesn't have kids. You guys had kids. You had to chose to go work a job that you don't like.'cause that was your belief. I don't believe that I'm gonna create my own reality. Um, also in those adolescence years, I found, you know what, what the people are calling cannabis these days. Back then we called it, you know, weeded Pot, Mary Jane, whatever it was. And I, I found that early on in that process that I liked smoking weeded, and, and that had, and then I found out like, oh, people. People know that I always got good weed. They're always friends are asking me for it. So that kind of taught me like my early entrepreneur days that like, oh, I could just buy some weeded and make money helping other friends have weeded. You know? Um, and that kind of created this ladder effect of, you know, and eventually growing pot. And it, I grew it to get through college, paid for my college education, you know, I was living a good life off of it. But then that resulted in, you know, yeah, you were that successful. That's successful at what?
Jimmy:Just
KenDo:like at selling it. Well, it was easy. You just had a good product. It wasn't like, it wasn't like sales, you know, that we know today, you know? Mm-hmm. It was, the product was good enough to sell itself. It was, it was a resource that, um, Or I guess it was a commodity that was more rare at the time, so it was just getting your hands on some good stuff. Mm-hmm. But I guess, you know, the part where it led to, you know, my adversity, my primal essence journey was, you know, this is in a time where it wasn't as acceptable and, and living that lifestyle, it was a secretive lifestyle. It wasn't something where, and so that created this like fear of being seen. Right. I think it embedded in that, and that's something I'm working on just with being on your podcast and like, Hey, I'm here. Like, let me, let me break through this, you know? Um, but in 2008, I was raided by the cops. Cops came banging down my door. I opened it for'em before they could bang it. And, uh, you know, that, you know, a year later they charged me with five felonies that same summer. I was pulled over outta state with. Um, and that resulted in being charged with two felonies. And then I was in a house fire. Um, later on that year, added trim camp that, um, I lost my turntables'cause I was a dj, lost some my turntables and my records and all that kind of fun stuff. And that was like my, you know, when they say it comes in threes, those are the three things that happened to me in one year that kind of was like, put me in that state of primal existence.
Jimmy:Damn. So you got all, so when did you
start
KenDo:DJing? I started DJing so we could get into that artist part. So I, I started DJing in the bedroom, let's say, like, you know, 2004, 2005, you know. Mm-hmm. Um, right around the time where, yeah. And then, then what happened was like, And I was DJing out a couple times on vinyl, but when I lost the vinyl in the house fire, I kind of didn't know what was next for me in my life. Mm-hmm. You know, I, you know, a friend whispered says, Hey, we're, we're kind of wondering what's going to happen next now that you have all this shit, this happened, you know, to you, what's next for you? And she pointed to the stage at a festival that we were at, and she was just like, I see you up there. Damn. And that just kind of planted the seed in my head that like, Oh, I'm gonna go play the biggest stages at Burning Man, or I'm gonna go play the biggest stages at the music festivals. Mm-hmm. And, and I, and that's, you know, within a few years, that's what's, what, what happened. So like another example of like, when I set my mind to something, I could do it, you know? Um, but I didn't know what we know now as far as this personal development stuff. How we manifest our goals, our dreams. I was just, these are the examples that when I found out this. Information that we, we love and share with others. These are the examples of like, oh yeah, that's an example of when I did that.
Jimmy:You know? Yeah, you do have examples and if, if you're going back to that definition, it's like the primal part for us is our brains. Our brains only function is to survive. So whatever happens to us. We have to find a way to survive and whether, you know, your brain doesn't know what is good or bad, it just knows how to live. So that's what our functioning is and that's what you were getting into. So you saw those, those things that came in three, how, how does that shape your future and how you make decisions going forth? Because I'm sure there was, there might've been. I know for me there was like, you know, we all know there was like a worth. Worthiness issue and a, and a lovable issue. Right. But what came, what came to you
KenDo:after that man, like, I guess, you know, I went through the trials and tribulations, you know, part of that, like experiences I had warrants out for my arrest. So I was like little secretive living still that not wanting to be seen, like my true, authentic self, not wanting to be seen or didn't share these experiences. So I. I was hiding them, hiding from myself in that way. And you know, that like this, through our work that we've done together, like hiding from myself was something that I realized at that retreat we met at. You know, and it was just like, oh, like I've been hiding, not just from others but myself and hiding these stories of my past, the adversity of my past. Um, and I, and just recently, as I, I get into the weeds of that and how I've overcame it. What, and, and with relation to that adversity story, I didn't know that. I, maybe one of the reasons why I wasn't sharing it was'cause I was embarrassed. Oh yeah. Or there was shame and I didn't know shame was under emotion. Right. Until, like, some of the work we've done post retreat was like, oh, that like, oh, I don't. Why do I have shame around that? Like it's part of me, it's part of my story. It's actually now I can relate it to like, it's from my hero's journey, right? Being rock bottom, being primal and choosing an awesome future, right? Like, like that is an exit. Ah, that is in effect like, Could be if I crafted a, a story of my life, a her as all our stories in our society, our hero journey stories. Mm-hmm. That's part of my hero's journey, you know? Hell yeah.
Jimmy:Everybody loves the fucking hero's journey.
KenDo:We love it. And so why am I not sharing that part of me?'cause it's be on here with you. It's the shame. Yeah.
Jimmy:I, I mean essentially because we think, I mean, it's weird because I, I know for me, I was the same way as you is. I didn't, I didn't know what that feeling was. I just felt heavy and just like weighed down. I, I couldn't define it. And, uh, we were having this conversation before, like in May when, when you first picked me up in the car. It's like, man, I don't know what I'm looking for. I just hope they have the right questions to pull it out of me.
KenDo:I think they did. Hell yeah, they did. And when they pulled out of you and what they pulled out of you, you ran with man, you accepted the, the message, the calling and, you know, part of the hero's journey is to reject the calling. Mm-hmm. Yet maybe we, you and I, we have rejected that calling for so long until that point. Then we were given the example like, oh, let's accept the call in to transform ourselves and, and love ourselves and prove to ourselves that we are worthy, uh, you know, not, we don't need outside, uh, approval. It is the inside approval that, uh, we need to push us forward to be our awesome
Jimmy:future. You mean the internal meaning, you know, approval from ourselves?
KenDo:Yeah. Ah, well, I'm just using the example that. Your big aha at that retreat. Right. And I kind of realized it related to me with my self-love journey that I got at that retreat as well. Mm-hmm.
Jimmy:Yeah, I mean that was, that was a really eye-opening experience. Um, and now the, the cool thing about that is I could use those tools that I didn't have before as fuel and direction. To, to find my purpose going forward. And you know, I think we're, to your point, I think we're all still writing our hero's journey. Some can write two books, right? I mean, I mean, I know I can because it was like, you know, it was like pre. It was almost like pre covid for me. And then, you know, everything that happened post covid, because that's when really my big personal development push started. Um, and you know, I'm probably writing the second book right now and you know, if my first book was called My Hero's Journey, the second part is Watch Me Now, motherfucker. Like it's now just started. This shit's getting fun. Um mm-hmm. But what, uh, what do you think, what do you think that, um, you learned or used to, to form and create your hero
KenDo:story? I think I was still formulating what, what are the important aspects of that story, but that, that story around, you know, the trifecta year of, of legal challenges is definitely part of, of the story. I think, um, you know, being rock bottom. In 2018 and thinking about like, not living anymore as part of the, the, uh, bottom as well. And that's the kind of the bottom that snapped me out of it. Right? And it was like, okay, I'm giving myself this one opportunity. Like, let's move forward and just like you, in 2020, we, we took advantage of the opportunity given to us, right? Like, it's like here's an opportunity to eliminate all those toxic people. Because you have an excuse now not to see them. Right? Or you have the opportunity to be, find some online friends that are gonna be the people that you wanna surround yourself with as far as growers, visionaries, people who are disciplined or have authenticity. Uh, whatever it is that you were looking for, you found it, you know? And so I, I accredit that. That transition, I had some momentum going into 2020. Mm-hmm. But when 2020 hit, that was when, like all the, all the mindset games, I had a realization about, uh, let's just do that. Let's go into this like big light bulb moment. Yeah, that's,
Jimmy:I was just gonna ask you that because you, you kind of just glazed over the momentum. I'm like, I wanna know what the fuck that was.
KenDo:Well, the momentum was, I guess the momentum. So in 2008, I was walking the beach. What kind of, one of the stories that stats me out was just like I was talking to a past lover. She, she was like on the top of my what if list, and I was just telling her how much she meant to me and gratitude that I had, that she was still in my life and all this stuff. And she, she's like, are you okay? Because you're talking about somebody is. Was thinking about killing themselves. And I was just like, whoa. It snapped me out of the depression I was in at the time. Mm-hmm. And, and I was just like, okay, I got one, one chance, I'm gonna just rock bottom$50,000 in debt. And I was just like, all right, what are we gonna do? Let's get our real estate license, let's pursue this, you know, move to San Diego, not knowing anybody, and San Diego. I think we have the ability to shift our identity. And, and that's part of this, you know, you, you preach a lot on your podcast about shifting your environment, right? Mm-hmm. And I feel like shifting your environment comes in. Not just your physical environment. Yes, I could get up and move to San Diego where I don't know anybody. Yeah, but it's also your social environment, so that's like people with your proximity. Then there's this, this mental environment right here, right? Like, so this mental environment is like your input is a pro, your output is a product of your input, right? So like what are you putting in your brain? What are you putting in your brain to like create the life that you want? I didn't really understand this in its full capacity.'cause I was just, again, I might have examples of my past when I did this, but when you become aware of it, it be, and this is the light bulb, right? So I DJ'ed Bernie man a few, few times, well, you know, maybe like six years in a row or something like that. But there's a guy at my office, at my KW office, um, in San Diego and he. He found out that I used to DJ Burning Man and he wanted to go, and he was just like, I don't have a ticket. And I was just like, you don't need a ticket. Just know that you're gonna be there. Just see yourself there. Understand that you're gonna be there and you know, have the vision of yourself being there and you'll, the ticket will come. And at that time I was struggling in my office, didn't have any product productivity. We went back to our workstations and he kind of turned around and was like, you need to do that with your business. And it clicked. It clicked in that moment that I could do that, not just with my business, but with my life. That I could envision a future, believe it so much that it's going to happen, that it, then it starts manifesting itself. Right? And that, that guy at my office, my colleague, We became mindset buddies. We started seeing like, instead of like, oh, I'm struggling today, it became like, it's a challenging day. And I like a challenge because I like to overcome challenges, right? So these, these different mindset frame shifts that we were, we were accountability partners without colony that, you know, and that was like 2019 where that started, that momentum started going that way. So when 2020 happened and the ability to join certain masterminds happened, I had that momentum going in there. And then I think for me, 2020 was that moment of, I, I'm just gonna invest in, in myself and invest in these masterminds where I'm surrounding myself with people who understand this magic of, of we could create our own reality. Right. And I think that created this, this forward momentum to go from, you know,$50,000 into debt to making a quarter million dollars a year and multiple years in a row. Right. So, and it was all the mindset.
Jimmy:Yeah. That's huge. Do you think at some point that you maybe manifested your colleague, well at that time and, you know, essentially accountability partner, do you think it somehow there was some energy geared towards something like that? Because all this stuff started happening. There had to be a receptiveness and an awareness to look for those things that are going to be helping you.
KenDo:Yeah. I think, you know, having my back against the wall and, you know, it took me, it took me about six months to close my first real estate deal. So I had no money coming in. Even after I made that decision, took me about nine months to start getting that momentum. Sometimes that's, those are our, like most defining moments in our life is, at least for me, is when my back is against the wall and I need to make something happen. And so I think at that point you start looking for people who might have insights or knowledge, and you've already made the decision within yourself that you're going to do this. And I guess that's how maybe the subconscious will show you an example before your eyes. And it is our responsibility to be like, Accept that right before our eyes.'cause a lot of times we could go through life and we don't have, we might be asking for something or we might be creating something. However your belief system is working. Yet when it shows up, we don't recognize it right before our eyes. So it's also, we have to have now the awareness to be like, oh, here's a buddy that we could like climb this mountain together. Yeah,
Jimmy:that, that awareness part is huge. I was told a story one time, it was called the, the feather, the brick in the truck. So when we're looking for things every, like the universe is gonna give us signs. So sometimes, you know, if a, if we're, if we're very aware and a feather just falls and touches us, we feel it. But if we're not paying attention, it could fall on us and we have no idea. That's life sending a message. Now, if we ignore that first message, the second one is going to come a little bit swifter faster and harder. So it's gonna be like hitting, getting hit with a brick. It's going to grab your attention and it's probably going to hurt. So for me, it wasn't so much going to jail, it was the D u I like the first one. So if we don't pay attention to that, The next message is going to be almost a knockout blow. It may kill you. If not, it's going to be your rock bottom that's like being hit by a truck. So you're like, wham fuck. How do I unfuck myself from this situation? So when it comes to awareness, we wanna be very aware of the things that are happening
KenDo:to us. Right, right, right. And you use that trifecta year. I had to relate to your story with your DUIs, right? Like Absolutely. Here I get raided by the cops and you're like, oh, let me go drive in Oregon with a whole bunch of like cannabis, right? And get pulled over by the cops, right? But I'm still gonna go do the next mistake until, yeah, something happens where you hit rock bottom and you're just like, all right, like you said, it hits you harder. Yeah,
Jimmy:well, and then you're sitting there at rock bottom, it's like, how the hell did I end up here? And you have to be very cognizant about it and real with yourself. Be like, oh, because of the past decisions that I made, essentially,
KenDo:I, I think you know that on the head there, right? It's, it's ownership of the decisions you made. A lot of people go through this life, blaming the world, blaming the system, blaming the cops that pulled them over or whatever it is, and we take ownership. And when you, for me, when I was walking on the beach trying to figure out my life, getting rock bottom, it was realized that taking ownership is when it, it really shifted for me. It wasn't the system, it wasn't, you know, the cops, it was, it was me who made those decisions. And it was, it's gonna be me Who's gonna make the decisions? To pull me out from this prial state into an awesome future.
Jimmy:And you're, you're very close to your awesome future.'cause I know, I know you're getting there now. Um, but I mean, for me, it, it, it was still getting past and this was, I. This was following with me for a while. It's like, how do I get past the stigma and the labels that were put on me from the decisions that I made before and still move forward?'cause all these people are gonna think a certain way. I. How do you think that affected you? Or did it, some people are like, fuck it.
KenDo:I think you know that, that's why, you know, great question. And I'm, I don't have an answer, right. So I'm gonna come off with something off the top of my head, but I think it kind of, it's that shame that I was feeling. Mm-hmm. Right? It, it was, and, and that shame is like we. We might've made up a story, I might have made up a story of what, what people might think of me if I shared that story about me, or, you know, and, and then there's time, right? Like there was every time I had to fill out an application that says I have a felony on my record, that I got scared. I clinged, I might have avoided and ran away from like even checking that box on an application. Mm-hmm. Right? Without knowing, not without giving the opportunity to reject me, I rejected myself. That's deep. Um, I re the shame allowed me to like, or created me rejecting myself. And in that moment, I guess in this moment, I'm realizing that like, that's, that's more painful, that's more hurtful or creating an awesome future. If I can't accept myself. If I'm rejecting myself, then, then I'm gonna be in my own way, you know?
Jimmy:You're building your own walls to, to put in your own way. Exactly. Because I'm so right there with you too, because there's a lot of applications that I put in and I had to, I looked at the same box and I was like, you know, I'm never gonna fucking get this. And the way I overcame it, and I was like, Fuck it. I'm, I'm, the first thing I'm going to say when I walk into this thing is like, yo, this is what's on my record. You could either, you know, walk me out the door now, or we could continue this interview, but either way, you know this, do you still want to continue? And sometimes it was a no. And then, you know, I had a couple yeses,
KenDo:right? And for me it was time. It was like, oh, it's been 10 years now I can check this box. And now I have a track record that I'm not. You know, having run-ins with the law, you know, for, for, you know, a certain amount of years or whatever, you know? Right. And, and then there was this people positive influence around, you'd be like, dude, I know people who have the, you know, that have felonies, that have a real estate license. Just be completely honest when you fill out the application and show'em everything that's ever happened to you when you submit it to the state. And they've been successful at doing that. And so just having the right people. Around you to encourage you to overcome your own walls, your own barriers that we're creating for ourselves, you know, and kind of giving that nudge to be like, it's not a wall, it's a speed bump, dude, just get over it. Do an ollie over that thing, man. See, that's the
Jimmy:exact thing that I needed to hear, probably that you needed to hear. But this will probably be the helpful thing that, you know, if somebody listens to this podcast that. You know, prob they say they have one d u i and it's a misdemeanor, and they're like, oh man, I can't get this job at this bank that I want, or at this real estate. No motherfucker, like, all you gotta do is just be honest or, you know, take the advice that Kendo is giving and just be honest and it's, it's a minimal speed bump. But all you need. That's correct, man. All you need to know is this, like that. There's a way that there's a possibility. Guys like us. That's all we need. Show me that there's a fucking possibility and I'm gonna make it happen.
KenDo:And focus on the positive outcomes. Focus on the possibilities that are gonna get you to your past.'cause we're focusing on what? What's in our way? More shit's gonna get in our way. So take that momentum of, and take that what I learned with my light bulb moment of shifting my life and visualizing my future in a positive way. Mm-hmm. Take that and look at those things. Look for those things. I know there's, I what, I don't know what the, I call it, but. R S V or something like that, or, I forget what it is, but it, it's just like you're talking about when you see, say you want a Tesla, all of a sudden you are gonna see thousands of Teslas on the road. Oh yeah, yeah. So like you do that with like, see positivity in your future. You'll start seeing examples of that positivity in other people's future or your A pathway to that future versus instead of seeing the obstacles, You know, or focusing on the walls or focusing on, on, you know, the suffering. I mean, it's important to take those things and learn our lessons from that. And that's why we, you know, we might have not known at the time, we might not have been conscious that that's what we were doing from rock bottom and we made that decision. Mm-hmm. Because we don't, we didn't have the awareness that we have now. But now we have that awareness and now we're like, oh, okay. We made the decision to get from rock bottom up, up a couple feet, you know? And then now we've got this knowledge and we're looking back and we're like, okay, those, there's still limiting beliefs from our rock bottom moments that are getting in our way. But like, look at the examples of the, where we've came so far, how much progress we've made, focus on that, and then project that into your future. And what do you wanna become, you know? Yeah. And I think you're right. I think you're right. Like your podcast is not, if someone listens to it, it is like when that person does listen to it, it can be life changing, life changing for somebody to have these deep conversations that you have with people who have overcome adversity to create their awesome future. And continuing on that path of doing it with these tools, with these mindset that we have, um, you know, It is making a big impact, man, and I just wanted to like thank you because those people in the future, they might not reach out to you to thank you, but you're doing great stuff and you lead with their vulnerability. Talking about your adversity, and you're getting other people to talk about their adversity and and the outcomes that have came from, from those.'cause some people give up, they hit rock bottom and they just keep on sinking, right? Mm-hmm. Then there's those examples, like for those people who might be able to hear this podcast, Hit rock bottom where they're just like a couple feet away from rock bottom, like, oh, I could do this. I like these guys. Did it like I could do it too. And, you know, I think you're doing great work here and, and you're just really good at
Jimmy:it, dude, just in talking to you. And if you know, since May since we started talking consistently, I don't know of anybody that gave or that has given me more praise or, or more compliments than you. You're just such a fucking, just positive ass guy. I don't know if that's how you are. Um, Just on a daily basis or is if that's what I'm just picking up. But man, that's why, that's why I love talking to you.
KenDo:Just when you say that, what you just said back to me is something that you've given me since I've met you. You know, you feed, you feed into me what you see, and I'm like, oh, that, that, that is me. You know, like, is this an example of, of. You, you, we feed into each other and it makes us better at what we are good at. Mm-hmm. You know, and so I, yeah.
Jimmy:Yeah. I mean, it's like recognized in strengths and I mean, it's really just inspiring how we've both almost at different, different ways leaned into something fearful and we found ways to overcome it because coming from rock bottom to where we are now, we've had to make. Some, you know, ballsy decisions or ballsy moves and overcome fear and overcome a story or overcome a belief. And once we do that, once we change a belief in our, in what we're thinking, we get to change the results. And so far, I would say we're doing a pretty good fucking job given our trajectory.
KenDo:You're right. Even sometimes we don't wanna see it ourselves, right? We have to be, we have good people in our lives to remind us like, yo, I know you're trying to get to where you're going. Remember, it's right around the corner because like, look how far you've came already. You know? Yeah. We forget
Jimmy:that. We think about, you know, what the goal is and how far away we are from the goal, not where we came from. Yeah. That's, I think it's,
KenDo:Yeah, go ahead. I, I think it's important we remember where we come from or at least have those, be able to look back, you know, the gap in the game. You know, look at, look at the gains that we've made because, and then look at it with gratitude and be like, and then let that gratitude fill you, because like life is a lot better when you're like filled with gratitude, you know? Versus like the gap philosophy where you're just kind of like, I want more, I'm not good enough. Mm-hmm. And when, when you're saying you're not good enough, what are you telling yourself That you're not enough? You're not worthy. We don't want that energy in our vibrational frequency, man. We want, we wanna know that we're, we're good enough, we're worthy. We, we are full of love and gratitude, and that's gonna make a happier life, you know,
Jimmy:life. Absolutely. Speaking of which, like how. How do you use music now? Because I'm sure it's part of your life, right?'cause you're a, I didn't know you're a fucking DJ at Burning Man. Like, I mean, I kind of did, but I didn't know for like that long. To what extent. So I would imagine if, if nothing else, even artistically that it's a part of your life.
KenDo:That's a good question, man. I think that was, um, And this, it kind of gets me a little emotional just thinking about it. Music was such a big part of my life ever since I was a child. Listening to music, find the newest music, sharing the newest music, and that kind of like, it just made sense for me to, you know, when I first turnt was first moved into my house when I was in college, and so it was from a roommate brought him into my house and I, like, I was just practicing by myself and then all of a sudden we'd have like a little party and people were like, I was like, all right, my turn. And they were just like, whoa. You know, like you just kind of like jumped ahead of all of us, like, you know, and it just made sense at that time. So when I decided in 2012 was like my last burn, 2013 was like my last music festivals where I DJ'ed on some, you know, relatively nice side stages. I kind of was getting jaded, I was getting burnt out. Mm-hmm. The legal challenges in my life were kind of situated, you know, I, you know, they dismissed those four, the five felonies, uh, the first ones from, from being raided at my house. I kind of had a, I was like, okay, that, that chapter of my life, that part of the legal challenges are over what's next? And I made a, well, now looks like a painful decision to, to not be a part of music anymore. Not ha like to, I had a dream one time where I, I'd, you know, I, I killed a child and I was trying to bury it and, and people in my dreams, my friends were like, no one would help me bury this child. I woke up and it bothered me so deeply. I called a friend who kind of knew a lot about dreams and as I'm telling her about my dream, I'm realizing what's going on. It's like I'm bearing a version of myself, my inner child or, or the person that like, Brings me joy through music and art that, that I buried to pursue wealth in real estate. Right? And being, being a real estate agent. And because I thought for some reason that I needed to sacrifice parts of me to become a different version of myself. And at that retreat that you and I met at and really kind of became, you know, good friends, I feel mm-hmm. Um, You know, that part of doing those journaling exercises and having that moment where the inner child came out and I recognized it and the journaling exercise turned into a page of poetry. And I forgot that, like before I was a dj, I was a poet and I thought, you know, I can be by being a dj.'cause a lot of the, my DJing sets would have like these positive words, these like, You know, messages of love and consciousness and expansion. So it was, you know, so it was my, my, my poetry at the time I was, when I went to college, I was being, I was at the end of my college years, like I didn't have to write a final thesis. Like, it was just like, just give us one of your poems, you know, like, so I write like a long poem about everything we learned all semester and kind of packaging it up to like deliver it in front of the classroom. I felt dj, I could package something up in a 60 minute set and deliver it to a bigger audience. And when I buried that version of myself to pursue like some kind of financial security, because I, I didn't, one, I didn't have the mindset. I was living in a very scarcity mindset. I wasn't surrounding myself with other successful entrepreneurs, and I felt like I had to. Changed that part of myself and I, I turned, I feel like I turned my back on music. But that, that, now that I'm talking to you out loud about this, I turned my back on myself and, and, and that artistic part of myself and at the retreat that unlocked, that was the part of me that was like, oh, you think you love yourself, but you don't even see yourself. You're hiding yourself from yourself. And I was just like, Oh shit, I gotta let this guy out. I gotta let, like, I gotta nurture my inner child. I got to like feed this artistic version of myself. And part of that process I'm realizing now is I'm, I'm creating my vision for my future is, maybe it is not music. Like I still, I started listening to music again this last year or two years and just kind of tuning into, gone to a couple shows. I went to my first music festival in nine years to check out one of my favorite artists and. And then doing the retreats and doing the coaching that I'm doing post retreat and trying to find that artist that, for that, that artist to come out. Because it's not just about coming out for my own joy and my own inner child's pleasure nurture, but just like, like how I would create that package and college to create this semester worth of information and pack it into something. Or when I used to create a 60 minute DJ set and have this message and pack it in there and share it with people. Mm-hmm. I'm looking for a new way to package my artistic side package. Something from my artistic side to share with the world that's gonna have that message of love, consciousness and expansion. And if it's, I don't know exactly where that's at, tinkering with some ideas in my head. Like, you know, is it, you know, I've always, all those moments, I was always on stage, you know? So it was like the stage somehow has always been part of my vision. And how is it gonna be where. Maybe it's a 20 minute TED Talk that I'm able to package something into a 20 minute speech and deliver it. That's gonna have a big impact on people and that I feel like that's the new way I'm gonna bring out that artistic child of me to give birth to other opportunities. And I haven't really, you know, gotten a clear, vivid vision of exactly how that's gonna go. I'm working on that. And then it's also, you know, what steps do I need to take there Now that I have some financial success, I can't just like jump into the the artistic world where I still have limited beliefs about can I profit from that?
Jimmy:Dude, you just brought that around full circle too. That was, oh, that was pretty good.
KenDo:It's a great question. I wouldn't have been able to figure it out without you, man.
Jimmy:Yo, I mean, half this, you know, like, you know, we're kind of like brainstorming for the future because like that is almost rounding out where your hero's journey is heading to, because a hero's almost, they're never done, right? They're, they're never done. There's always the next thing, there's always the next challenge or the next adventure. And I am, I'm very, very happy, and I don't mean this as like a, you know, condescending comment at all, like, I'm better than you or anything, but I'm very happy and proud that you're bringing music back into your life as a form of passion, as a form of love, because it's something that, that, you know, resonates with you. It's kind of like, I'm sure that, I mean, we talked about this before, like the flow state, because I'm sure when you were up on stage, like everything just, it just came together, right? And now when you're putting your thoughts together, it starts coming together and you just start spitting and thinking of things and you get really creative. Kind of like when I met you at the retreat, I mean, you were kind of quiet at first and all of a sudden you said something and we're all looking at you like, I think it is when you, um, you, you read your, uh, you read your journal, I think it was for the first time. We were all looking like, holy shit, this motherfucker's a poet. And you just stunned people. But that was unlocked. It was always, it was always in you, but now it's unlocked.
KenDo:Yeah. It and. I feel like it was resurrected, right? I, I killed the child. I tried to bury it, and that, that became, and now it's resurrected. And that's like, you called me earlier in this podcast, Kendo, that that's, that's the artist me, it's me. I tried to bury Kendo and became Kenneth, you know, to be like professional and mm-hmm. A realtor and this new city. And then all of a sudden I was like, whoa, whoa. You can't bury Kendo, man. That's who you are. Like, that's the artist within, that's, that's the beauty. That's the, um, that's the, your authentic self. I think I'm really, really working on how to be unapologetically my authentic self. And that's kind of like the theme right now for me.
Jimmy:That's the most, that's the most lovable you, um, that you could be. I mean, it's like people are going to see, especially when people ask questions and you have a good group of people. Um, that asks questions and they're gonna see that authentic you anyway. Right? It's almost like that Superman, you're just trying not to get caught. You try to hide him by putting your, you know, your, your tie on and your Clark Kent stuff. But you know, people are gonna see you rip off that rock, rip that ss on your chest and where you truly are, you can't hide him forever. It's, uh, dude, I'm so glad that you know, now you're just living your life as like, as Kendo, you know, essentially, even though your name is Kenneth, but, and no disrespect to
KenDo:the legal. Absolutely. No, no. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. I feel you. Um, yeah, thanks for seeing me, man. Thanks for seeing me. Absolutely.
Jimmy:Well, I mean, all right, so a lot of us have made mistakes in our life. Um, You have been very resilient on moving, moving past that. If you were to, to go back to yourself back when that trifecta happened, what advice would you give yourself right after that?
KenDo:Uh, that's a good question as well. You have some really good questions, man. And I try to be a person who doesn't. Have regrets, right? Mm-hmm. That sees that, all that like, because the person I am today, like I'm in a great spot. I love myself. I love where I'm at in life. I love where I'm going in life, and like all those things that have ever happened to me, hard, good, bad, sad. They all have created who I am and like who I am is just fucking awesome and moving forward, right? Like, so I'm thankful for all that stuff, right? I'm, I'm have complete gratitude for it shaping me into the man I am today. So it's kind of hard for me to answer that question of like, what would I tell myself today back then? What do you think you would need to hear? That's a good question. I guess it's, it's the same question asked differently, I guess. Don't let this destroy you. Let, like it's gonna make you greater. And I think that's what it did. Yet there might've been times where it felt like, It had the upper hand on me and was trying to push me down mentally, psychologically, destroying my freedom to be able to be truly myself. And I think moving yet in the long run it was, it helped me make me who I am today. And if you could see that, I guess we could take that to like, well, what's the challenges that we are faced with today? And we could say those same things to ourself, right? Don't let this destroy you. Hmm. Know that it's gonna create you who you're gonna become better at living life or a better person, a better human, a better dad, a better man, a better. You know, don't want to discriminate against the women. So a better woman, you know, better mother, you know, better entrepreneur, you know, whatever it is that you're being challenged with right now, it's gonna build character into your future so well. So if I would've really understood that back then, maybe I would've, maybe I would've, um, moved faster. I. And then my four projectory. But at the same time, I'm, the pace that I was at and what has happened is, you know, I'm really thankful for I I, and I'm able to say that now and even it gets even further. Like it wasn't too long ago where I was just like still holding shame around that, you know, and you bring, bring me on to this podcast and talking about it. It's like helping cure, heal, you know, more of that shame. Or or eliminate that shame by being, by speaking it out into reality and kind of getting a perspective on that experience that's actually like has been beneficial to my life more so than detrimental.
Jimmy:Well, man, I really appreciate you almost bearing and flaunting your so-called Cape and kind of letting that show. Just by taking a bold move and, and being on the podcast and having people listen to your story, I mean, I really appreciate it. You're the
KenDo:man. Well, thank you for giving me a platform, man. This is, uh, you know, thanks for letting me be a guest on my first podcast. Uh, and it is yours. I couldn't imagine it being anybody else's actually. So, because I know there's gonna probably be hundreds of podcasts, Uh, spots that I'm gonna be a guest on and you are forever. Number one, pop the cherry.
Jimmy:Hell yeah. Well, Kendall, where can people find you to reach out to you to say, Hey man, thanks for your story, or even just, you know, reach out to you.
KenDo:Uh, Instagram's probably the, the best place. Kenneth Donoughy. Maybe I'll change that to something soon. And when I'm ready to be back, you know, put Kendo as a, as a name on there. But right now the Instagram is, uh, Kenneth dot donnay as d o n a g h y.
Jimmy:Well, perfect. Yeah. Again, brother, I really appreciate you jumping on and, and spending, spending some time with me and sharing your story, brother.
KenDo:Thank you to you, man. Thank you. I.
